Welcome to Flintstone University!!!

OUR ILLUSTRIOUS FACULTY INCLUDES among others:

DONALD J. TRUMP, J.D. VANCE, LEONARD LEO, ELON MUSK, PETER THIEL, STEPHEN MILLER, STEVE BANNON*, ANDREW TATE* AND TUCKER CARLSON**

2024 – 2025 FRESHMAN COURSE OFFERINGS INCLUDE:

MIGHT MAKES RIGHT 101 – The Importance of Upholding A Tried and True Tradition:

This course will include daily visits to our award winning gym where young men are taught, through various strength training disciplines, that winning is all that matters (not how you play the game, a concept introduced by weak and woke low T betas)***, plus access to our discreet penis enlargement services. We are on the cutting edge of the latest scientific insights on how to appear larger than you are including the art of the swagger, projecting strength through posture as well as helpful vocal techniques ie shouting and insulting, and much, much more!

MASTERING THE WEAKER SEX 101:

(Please register early, as this course fills up quickly.) This popular course will cover the core reasons for male superiority, as well as the best scientifically proven methods of controlling female emotional volatility, from physical force to the more modern use of medications, shaming, gaslighting and more! Plus bonus material on other exciting new developments on how to keep females well controlled and in the home.

INTIMIDATION AND BULLYING 101:

In this popular course we will cover the evolution of intimidation and bullying through the ages, plus coaching on specific techniques historically used by the greats in history. Extensive study of videos, from those of various primates (ie orangutans, gorillas and chimpanzees) to Hitler and Mussolini, and finally to our hero and illustrious faculty member, Professor Emeritus Donald J. Trump.****

UPRISING OF THE EVOLVED MALE AND HOW TO COUNTER THIS GROWING THREAT:

In this newly offered course we first examine how to spot this threat. (Among other disturbing traits, these men can often display empathy and show signs of respect and love for the natural world and for females whom they treat as equals). We will cover various means of suppressing the shocking rise of this demographic (which currently is the majority of males) and various methods to bring them back to the cherished traditions of our ancestors.

For more information please contact us at 1-888-neanderthal, or email us at wilma@neanderthal.edu (Democrats need not apply. Males only. Minority races will be wait listed).

*Mr. Bannon and Mr. Tate’s instruction available on zoom only, due to incarceration in prison.

** Mr. Carlson is available for coaching in Vigorous Spanking Of Teenage Girls (boys exempt). See Mastering The Weaker Sex 101 where he will be a guest speaker. Since his masterful speech at the Trump rally at Madison Square Garden, there has been an unprecedented demand for more specific coaching in physical and emotional abuse of females and the benefit of causing trauma for short-term as well as long-term gain (including the valuable restoration of one’s ego due to the loss of relevance).

***Low testosterone beta males, as opposed to high testosterone alpha males.

****Mother – an orangutan from the Brooklyn zoo, (note hair color), father – mentally ill sociopath. Result – model genetics. (See Stephen Miller’s extensive commentary on the importance of optimal genes for the ideal American).

***********************************************************************************************************

ADDITIONAL SAMPLE COURSE OFFERINGS:

EVOLUTION OF THE TOOLS OF MANHOOD:

The exciting evolution from fists/clubs/rocks to slingshots/muskets/handguns/AR-15’s to the nuclear bomb! Perhaps a graduate of Flintstone University and this course could be the first to come up with the next step in this proud tradition by creating a weapon to destroy the entire planet in only one explosion, in keeping with FU’S mission statement, “dedicated to the exciting vision of destruction on the largest scale possible using the creative and innovative brainpower of the innately superior male human with his can-do spirit and bravery in the face of danger and risk.”

THE STRONGMAN AND AUTHORITARIANISM:

We will examine dictatorship, fascism, and authoritarian forms of government and why they are the preferred path of the neanderthal male. Topics will include various ways to brainwash and manipulate the masses, destroy their sense of truth and reality, and ensure full control by the alpha through substitution of actual reality with the leader’s own desired version (which he will make up as he goes along. See the expert speeches of DJT). Education is to be discouraged since it could lead to mass revolt and non-compliance with the wishes of the alpha leader.

HONING SOCIAL SKILLS:

In this new course, offered for the first time next fall, we will explore cutting edge techniques to enhance our masculine image as well as our strength, invulnerability, and ability to dominate and control. Some of these techniques will include humiliation and disempowerment of others through bullying and insults (for beginners and considered an inferior method since it can also be used by females), different types of punching from the beginner level (black eyes), to intermediate level (loss of teeth), to advanced level (ie poisoning and open window accidents, a specialized technique offered by President Vladimir Putin who will be our guest instructor on zoom for one class session), and finally, the most elite and advanced techniques of torture and murder taught by an exciting panel of numerous esteemed experts.

ATTILA THE HUN AND GHENGIS KHAN – RAPE, A PROUD TRADITION OF MANHOOD:

We will examine this controversial topic, from prehistory to modernity and why it is essential in order to perpetuate the species, (especially relevant today when the disturbing rise of feminism is threatening a lower birthrate.) We will have hands-on sessions for practice purposes, compliments of a respected local goat farmer who has generously offered his herd for our use.*

*No condoms will be needed, however work gloves and a helmet are recommended.

***********************************************************************************************************

EXCITING NEW GRADUATE COURSE OFFERINGS!!!

ALPHA VERSUS BETA:

Students will learn to spot the characteristics of each group. We will study common alpha traits ie sociopathy and narcissism and why these traits are actually for the betterment of mankind. Alphas understand that the only thing that matters is power and holding on to it. Beta characteristics will also be discussed, the most dangerous being empathy, kindness, and the ability to compromise with others. We will also examine a sub-group called The Useful Beta which includes soldiers trained for the advantage of alphas, worker drones needed to run the businesses of alphas, as well as Republican congressmen who exist to suck Donald Trump’s dick.

JANUARY 6TH, A CELEBRATION OF MALE PROWESS:

In this course we will study in detail various techniques of destruction ie bashing, stabbing, beating, and smashing, using various creative tools ie flagpoles, police barricades and much more! Hands-on experience will be offered for the practice of some of these techniques, brought into the present from our beloved forebears of prehistory.*

ALWAYS RIGHT:

Tired of Earth One pansies giving you a hard time about things like “evidence” or “facts”? Learn how to bulldoze them with blizzards of lies, and even make yourself sound scientifically astute by learning how to find obscure material to support even your most absurd and wildly preposterous pronouncements. Never correct yourself again!!!

POWER AND DOMINATION, FROM STONES AND CLUBS TO MONEY!:

We will examine how to wield influence, from our ancient roots using clubs/stones/ rocks to the glorious present day technique of accumulating money as a means to dominate and control others, as well as to attract neanderthal females. Special guest lecturers will include Leonard Leo, Peter Thiel and Elon Musk who will generously share their techniques for wielding influence in American politics in order to remain in control and keep themselves on the fast track to hell.**

*Enrollees should purchase armor, shields, trusses, helmets and mouth guards, as well as ropes and pulleys. Only open to those with quality health insurance and an IQ below 50. FU not liable for injuries, including loss of reason.

**The most successful graduates of this course, after practicing the various strategies taught, may need fire extinguishers to accompany them to their new residences after death.

***********************************************************************************************************

THE HEROISM OF THE MAGA REPUBLICAN

The Political Party of the Real Man (A compilation of essays by FU graduates)

ESSAYS WILL INCLUDE AN EXAMINATION OF THE FOLLOWING TOPICS AMONG MANY OTHERS:

BASIC CODE OF ETHICS FOR MAGA REPUBLICANS:

Maintain power, domination and control. Might makes right. Win at all costs. No matter the outcome, claim victory. Create your own reality and proclaim it tirelessly as true.

TIPS FOR SEIZING AND MAINTAINING POWER:

When in doubt, punch. (This favored technique can be either physical or verbal, as needed).

Lying is extremely important, in fact essential on the route to power. If caught, double down, deny and obfuscate. If these don’t work, claim you were joking.

Create fear. First, engage in inflammatory rhetoric designed to trigger a sense of threat, then direct that fear away from oneself at all costs. Immigrants and poor people are wonderful targets that are tried and true, as well as LGBTQ persons.

Tireless repetition of slogans that incite fear and hatred of the “Other” will help create deep belief patterns that you can use to further manipulate your followers in order to ensure your hold on power and domination which you should embrace as your natural right.

Putting down females is excellent, however cherish and use to best advantage those females who are willing to yell, carry guns, accuse others and threaten violence. They are your compatriots and can help you seize power. Although inferior, they admittedly can lie, accuse and threaten quite admirably, so embrace them as your helpers on the way to power. Once you are there, you can easily discard or demote them.

HOW TO MAKE ELECTIONS OBSOLETE – THE HEROIC ROAD TO AUTHORITARIANISM:

A discussion of various methods to further the cause of minority rule through election tampering. First, locate the areas that are predominantly democrat and/or non-white. Then the fun begins!*

*We will provide links to various gun manufacturers that offer an exciting panoply of phallus-shaped weapons to help insecure wanna-be alphas with more testosterone than brains to feel strong, potent and capable of unleashing mayhem, which will be very important for the upcoming election, should votes be counted in a lawful manner.

***

WE ARE STILL ACCEPTING ESSAYS FOR POSSIBLE INCLUSION. THEY WILL BE SCREENED BY A PANEL OF FU’S MOST EXPERT EDITORS. WE ARE LOOKING FOR THE EMBRACE OF MISINFORMATION, TOXICITY, RANK STUPIDITY, LACK OF CHARACTER, AND MORAL TURPITUDE, AS MODELED BY OUR ESTEEMED FACULTY.

***********************************************************************************************************

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

I am currently incarcerated. Am I still eligible to apply to FU?

Yes!!! Full transfer credit will be awarded those who have already served time in prison for a criminal conviction of any kind. (Crimes due to utter imbecility combined with an innate proclivity for violence given preference.) Prior incarceration may also confer eligibility for extra credit and advanced placement. If you can provide your advisor with documentation of incarceration for any crime, from moral bankruptcy, perjury and fraud, to willful retention of classified documents, sexual abuse, and defamation (full list available from the DOJ) then several core course requirements may be entirely waived.

If accepted to FU, will I be able to bring my firearms and ammo?

Absolutely! Carrying a firearm at all times is encouraged. However, we also offer a full- service shooting range for students and faculty alike, so we are fully equipped for your needs whether you choose to bring your own weaponry or not.

May I shoot other students or teachers during class?

Unfortunately, since we are a new university, our enrollment is not yet high enough to spare students or faculty. So, for now, this is not encouraged. We will keep you apprised as conditions change.

If I enroll, am accepted, and choose to attend, may I punch fellow classmates in the face? Or must I wait until off campus? Also, do I get extra credit depending on how many teeth I knock out?

FU students are encouraged to practice these techniques in class only, and as outlined specifically in the class covering them, and not randomly while off campus (since the unfair and woke current laws discriminate against this behavior). We currently have only one dentist and one doctor on our campus and can only accommodate the injuries caused while in class. However, we do have numerous punching bags and dummies for our students’ convenience. These are available for use both in class and after hours to quell both normal manly impulses and unintentional testosterone overdoses.

Does FU offer study abroad?

We currently offer independent study abroad in Hungary and Russia and, as our programs expand, North Korea is being considered as well as Romania.*

*Andrew Tate, one of our esteemed faculty members is working on the inclusion of Romania, a country he found extremely rewarding (until the unfortunate pizza box incident which led to his arrest for rape and human trafficking).

***********************************************************************************************************

SOME OF OUR MOST POPULAR PRODUCTS:

Our Exclusive, Stylish and Wildly Popular Red Cap beautifully and meticulously inscribed with our FU motto: “Yabba-dabba-dooooo!!!!”

Our line of fine cosmetics for the macho male including:

Donald J. Trump Oompah-Loompah Bronzing Creme (non-drip, available in neon orange)

J. D. Vance eyeliner (available in a striking wicked witch ebony)*

J.D. Vance mascara (available in a beguiling soot black)*

Supplemental Testosterone Gummies:

Feeling insecure about a lack of desire to smash something or punch someone in the face (or just can’t get it on when face-to-face with a goat?) Just pop two to three of these gummies and you’ll be good to go!** Available in strawberry or lemon.

*Both J. D. Vance eyeliner and mascara are also available in our popular shapeshifting formula which changes color multiple times per application. Extra charge will be applied .

**Intentional overdoses leading to goat abuse, however amusing to the perpetrator, are strongly discouraged due to the limited size of our available herd.

ATTENTION: DUE TO A RECALL, OUR RUDOLPH GUILIANI FLOP-SWEAT HAIR DARKENING GEL IS TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE. WE WILL SOON ANNOUNCE THE ROLLOUT OF OUR UPDATED NON-DRIP VERSION.